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Not long ago Bill Hamid World Cup Jersey , I was doing the dishes and railing at my husband. I was holding forth on how important it is that we create deep, meaningful lives so that our nine-year-old daughter, Lillian, knows a spiritual way of living is possible and while I'm on the subject, it's critical that Lillian see us as equal partners because ... I was going full bore, barely pausing to breathe, when Christopher opened the fridge and asked, "Why can't you be like other women and shop?" I laughed Alejandro Bedoya World Cup Jersey , he grinned, and we launched into making weekend plans, the intensity of my tirade forgotten. But later, lying in bed, I replayed his remark. There was a weariness under his playfulness. There was something about my vehemence, my insistence about creating meaning and how it was linked to being equal partners, that was tiring us both. Maybe that shouldn't be a surprise, I thought. I've been insisting for a long time.



We've both been self-employed most of our adult lives Walker Zimmerman USA Jersey , Chris as a cinematographer and film teacher, me as a writer, creativity coach, and retreat leader; before we were married 14 years ago I had declared to him, "I'm not doing it all. Cleaning, cooking, grocery, laundry: pick two." Chris chose grocery shopping and cooking... but did he really have a choice? Did I really think a 50-50 divvying up of the Big Four household chores constituted an "equal partnership"? Had I ever given any serious thought to how I defined that concept? What did Chris think it meant? And what did it have to do with creating a "meaningful life"? Maybe our working model needed work.



I tossed and turned and cogitated. I realized that I judged other couples who I thought didn't have an explicitly "equal" partnership Tim Ream USA Jersey , who simply settled into an implicit understanding of who does what that, I thought, often came at a cost to the female half of the partnership. But why so judgmental, and so quick to it? Conversations over coffee with other moms, and with some of my coaching clients, let me know that a lot of women were struggling with a complex historical and emotional stew, a maddening trifecta of guilt, anger Tim Howard USA Jersey , and resentment, as they fitfully balanced traditional "women's work" with the staking of claims for their own dreams and goals. I had thought I was such a vehement feminist in my own home because I couldn't stand to see women on the losing side of this equation. But now I wondered if there was a more personal reason.



I couldn't sleep. I padded down the hall to Chris's study and plunked down on the chaise. "Honey, why do you wish I shopped more?" He laughed and groaned at the same time. "Do you wish I were a more traditional wife, that we had a more traditional marriage?" I added, just to hear him say, "No."